


Hikari光

by MoonLightSkies16



Series: Random Anime One-shots [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Based on a True Story, Deja Vu, Gen, Hallucinations, Jiraya’s actually a good godfather here, Naruto sees things, What Else Do I Tag?, abrupt mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 01:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30013683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonLightSkies16/pseuds/MoonLightSkies16
Summary: He wasn't sure when it started.Maybe when he was smaller.Maybe it was recently.Not like it matters. They're here now and there's nothing he can do to make them go away. But that's ok, as long as he has his precious people, he'll be fine.
Relationships: Jiraiya & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Random Anime One-shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126829
Kudos: 3





	Hikari光

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is based on my own personal experiences and the things that I'm still struggling with (constant deja vu, hallucinations, feelings of being watched, helplessness, unease, the sudden inability to speak, etc.) and I felt that it'd fit well with some minor AU Naruto angst/hurt comfort. 
> 
> So here we are. I'm sorry if it feels a little too personal to y'all but this is how I vent my feelings and inner workings, so yeah. Writing fanfiction with my own current situational issues is my way of coping with them I guess. (Also, I'm fine with you all knowing this stuff about me.)
> 
> But hey, Jiraiya acts more like an actual godfather in this one than a simple teacher. 
> 
> ~Enjoy~

Naruto Uzumaki didn't know when _they_ came, nor when it started.

Maybe back when he was smaller. 9 or 10.

Or maybe it was when he was a little older than that. 12 or 13.

Either way, _they_ were here now and no matter what he did, _they_ never went away. Not even for a day.

The 14 year old had lost hours of sleep because of _them_ , and the constant feeling of remembering something that hadn't happened yet ate away at his already fragile mind.

It was frustrating.

It was easier to remedy it back home. It was easier to keep himself from seeing them back when he was in the safety of his own apartment.

It was easier because there, there was light available at every corner. Whether it be a ceiling light, a lamp, a nightlight, even the moon or the bright lights of the village, there was always something illuminating his room and putting both his mind and his body at ease.

Now, out in the middle of nowhere, all alone because his pervert of a mentor went out to a sex club or something again, he was basically surrounded.

There wasn't enough light to chase _them_ away and there was no sound for him to distract himself with other than his own slightly panicked breathing.

They kept coming in and out of his peripheral vision. And each time he tried to look at it, another one came to distract him somewhere else.

He saw _them_ when his eyes were open, he saw _them_ when his eyes were closed. It was scary. Alarming, Frustrating. Annoying.

Naruto wanted nothing but for it to end.

He really wished someone was here right now. Be it Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Sasuke. Heck, he'd take Shino or Ton-ton if it meant that he wouldn't be alone. And Ton-ton is a freaking pig. Literally.

Taking a shaky breathe in, the teen tried to calm down before he started hyperventilating himself.

This was going to be an extremely long night. Just like the hundreds of nights before when light was inaccessible and company was unavailable.

* * *

**_Jiraiya POV_ **

Tonight, in the toad sage's honest opinion, was a pretty good night.

There were a few good lookers working at the bar and one even offered him a drink on the house. What a nice, beautiful woman she was.

Still drunk on both alcohol and the three women's flirtatious glances, the super pervert stumbled down the brightly lit hallway of the inn he and his apprentice were temporarily staying at.

Upon reaching his assigned door, he pulled out the room key and unlocked it, stepping in and closing the door noisily behind himself.

Reaching for the lights, Jiraiya debated whether that'd be a good idea or not with the already forming headache. Opting to leave the lights off, he kicked his sandals off and shuffled off his clothing, layer by layer before replacing it with the sleeping robe he set out for himself on the counter.

Sighing loudly as he made his way to his and his godson's sort-of-shared room, he figured that the kid was already asleep, as he always was when he got back late.

As he slid the bedroom door open, however, the older man was met with a different sight than the one he imagined.

There, laying on his futon, was his godson, yes.

But something was off.

His eyes were glazed over and seemed to be darting from one corner of the room to another at a rapid pace as he fidgeted with his fingers every other second or so. Deep, shaking breaths kept him somewhat grounded, but the perverted Sage could tell that Naruto wasn't all there.

"Naruto?" He mumbled, half to get his attention and half out fo curiosity.

At his name being called, said boy flitted his eyes to his mentor, who was standing in the door way, looking at him slightly worriedly.

"You ok, gaki?" He asked, moving from the door and closing it before slowly making his way to his own futon on the other side of the blond.

The young ninja, however, didn't seem to have the ability to speak all of a sudden, so he only nodded stiffly in Jiraiya's direction, following his godfather with his blue eyes as he strode across the room, occasionally swaying a little.

"You sure? You look a little...frightened, I guess." The sanin observed.

No verbal answer, just a nod.

Sighing again, he laid down on his mat, back facing his student.

It took a while, but the gaki did eventually fall asleep and didn't wake up until 30 minutes after time Jiraiya had set, which earned the teen a bucket full of cold water to the face.

* * *

"So... wanna tell me what was goin' on with you last night?"

Naruto froze at the question, just as the Sage thought he would.

Averting his eyes to anywhere but his teacher, the young man began eating his small breakfast again, though slower this time, before replying, "Not... really."

Jiraiya looked pointedly at his student, crossing his arms over chest and leaning back a little, making the boy feel a little smaller in the process.

"Naruto... I usually wouldn't pry about most of your problems, mostly because it's better to sort them out yourself rather than have someone hold your hand, but the way you were last night, the way you looked, it seemed as if you were looking for or at something that wasn't there."

Said blond boy hunched inward at the observation.

"And I gotta tell ya kid, seein' someone like you lookin' as spooked as you were last night, it's bound to raise at least a question or two." The white haired man explained.

Naruto hummed as a response, not once looking up from the breakfast set out in front of him.

Silence surrounded the two with nothing but the constant low chatter of the other occupants also eating their breakfast in the cafeteria-like area. Though, it was more like white noise than anything else.

A sigh finally escaped the Uzumaki as the soundlessness became too much for him, "I'll tell you when I'm ready. And even if I do end up telling you today, I wouldn't do it with all these other people around."

Jiraiya was dissatisfied at that answer, but had a feeling that that was all he was going to get out of Minato's son.

Rubbing his temples, the man felt the workings of a killer headache blossom at the back of his head. From the booze last night or the new problem now presented to him, he'll figure that out later.

* * *

_**3rd person POV** _

It wasn't until 3 weeks later did his godson finally tell him why he was so on edge that night and, from what Jiraiya later saw, many night afterwards.

It was dark, with nothing but the small fire to light up the compact clearing.

The flame crackled and popped as Naruto stared blankly at the blaze.

His mentor, who was on the other side of the heat-source, was laying down on his back, hands behind his head, and letting his eyes trailing the abundance of stars above.

"I see... _things_ at night."

Naruto's confession was abrupt and completely out of the blue. But he knew it would prove somewhat beneficial in the future, having someone to talk to about his problems.

A look of confusion was plastered on Jiraiya's face as he turned his head toward the young ninja, "We all see things at night, Naruto-"

"Not like that, Pervy Sage," The boy deadpanned, "I meant I see things that shouldn't walk the Earth at night."

A few seconds went by.

"Things... like what, Naruto."

"Monsters... things that are terrifying, to me at least. Sometimes, on a few occasions, I see _them_ even with my eyes closed." He explained, looking up at the Milky Way.

"Where are they usually."

"At the corner of my vision, mostly. But I once saw one pretty close. That was one of the times my eyes were closed. It wasn't a dream, before you ask. I wasn't asleep at all, just resting my eyes."

Jiraiya looked at his godson as he went on about his the things ailing him.

"It was really scary. I saw it twice in the span of 10 seconds. The first time, it was just its legs. They were long and skinny, kinda stick-like, y'know. I opened my eyes as soon as I saw them, but there was nothing in front of me. I thought that that was the only time I'd see it so I closed my eyes again... only to see it's face right in front of mine."

He looked back down to his teacher, than to the bonfire.

"Its face was shaped like a tear drop, only upside down. It had really big eyes and it was smiling at me. I could see all its teeth and it was gradually moving closer and closer to me. I opened my eyes again and just figured that I probably shouldn't close them again. To spare my own sanity, y'know." Naruto said with a slightly forced smile.

"How often do you see them?"

"At night, mostly. But really whenever it's dark or wherever there isn't enough light to chase _them_ away."

The super pervert hummed before the clearing was taken over by silence once again.

"...Is there anything else?"

"Other than occasionally not being able to speak or the nearly constant feeling of deja vu, nothin'." He finished before taking off his beat up orange jacket and folding it to use as a makeshift pillow.

After his godson had fallen asleep and the fire had burned out, Jiraiya took some time to think about all the days leading up to this one. All the signs he missed and all the things he wrote off as Naruto just being Naruto.

Soon enough, the Sage remembered all the times his apprentice would stop in the middle of the street and just stare at someone or something, as if trying to dig up a memory. That must've been the sense of deja vu his student mentioned. The sudden feeling that you had been there before, or had seen the exact scene somewhere previously, only to find out that it was in your head.

There were also instances where the boy wouldn't talk to anyone for up to 20 minutes, even if he was being spoken to. It was almost as if the words got stuck in his throat. Jiraiya could tell now that it frustrated the blond to no end.

And then there were the constant and rapid glances to the dark corners of rooms or the black depths of the forests.

All the signs were there, laid out in front of him. They all screamed that something was wrong, but the sanin continued to turn a blind eye to them all.

But now that they had been brought to light, Jiraiya couldn't help but worry. Would he need to tell Tsunade about this? Would this affect not only his performance as a Shinobi, but would it affect Naruto's own abilities?

The Sage came to the conclusion that it would be best to just observe for now, to see if it altered Naruto's personality or drive in any way.

* * *

_**Jiraiya POV** _

Turns out that it didn't affect anything to the extent that they would need to resort to anyone in the neurological medical field, and as one would have it, they usually don't bother Naruto nearly as much, so long that Jiraiya is near him.

And, much to Naruto's own pleasure and his teacher's displeasure, that gave Jiraiya a reason to stick around more.

_'Oh, Kami-Sama, please give me the strength to endure 2 more years with this loud, bouncy brat._ ' Jiraiya pleaded as his apprentice called for him as he pointed excitedly to a ramen stand in the middle of a small town square.

And so, off they went, to the ramen stand that would surely suck the Toad Sage's wallet dry.

* * *

Naruto's monsters and demons still followed him everywhere he went, and the blond honestly didn't think they'd ever go away. Nor would the sense of deja vu and the sudden mutism leave him either. However, he couldn't help but think _'That's just fine with me, as long as I have my friends, I'll be fine_.'


End file.
